Wednesday, August 22, 2001

Tomorrow. Tomorrow and it will all be over. The exam results are out tomorrow. If I fail anything, I lose everything. My parents have threatened me. And they always carry out their threats. So I'm terrified.

Lobo disappeared. I know why, but he doesn't want anyone telling, so I'm not saying why. He'll be gone for about 3 months. I miss him.

I actually called myself cute earlier today. I didn't even notice until my brother Rebel said, "since when do you admit to being cute?" I guess this means I'm really getting better. Hey, I might actually start *liking* myself soon. Be proud, be very proud.

I miss Lobo and I'm terrified about my exam results. And if Mum lays one finger on that willow tree outside I'll really be annoyed.

Wish me luck for tomorrow. I'll post my results here, and in Clubs, k?

Tuesday, August 21, 2001

so I spend the whole morning being forced to do gardening with my mother.... destroying a hedge she's decided she doesn't like... its only half done... but at least its not like we were killing anything... that hedge was dead to begin with...

and I dont get thru ANY rp's at all today, which REALLY sux...

and I havent even had 30 minutes uninterrupted online yet. This is NOT nice... I wish my parents both worked during the holidays.... like it used to be... but Mum likes being a primary school teacher... so, whatever. Would be TOO selfish of me to expect anything diff..

so Fobby replied to the mail i sent a while ago. She was REAL mean... I mean *real* mean... Fobby, be nice!!!

ick.

listening to the blackwolf song. Sorry, the song that reminds me of the bw's bcuz its lyrics are the last thing I posted before leaving them... brings up loads of feelings of resentment and anger, so i just hit stop.

I miss Lobo.

I'm TERRIFIED about my exam results... thursday is too soon....

I need a hug

Monday, August 20, 2001

its not raining any more. Thats good

So I'm in the DL... and I actually manage to compliment myself... so naturally everyone's proud... I'm proud, too... I'm getting better!!

havent seen Aeryn, or Rebel, or most ppl anywhere today. But i did get thru a loverly rp in msn with Logan :-) I love rp.

And DA and Sahara insisted on teasing me about a club i just heard about today. Til I feigned being malped, then they promised to invite me. :-)

Today has been OK, even to I only saw Lobo for an hour in the DL

I miss him

I'm still scared about my exam results...

Sunday, August 19, 2001

so its raining.... and strangely I think I can hear fireworks outside... hmmmm... fireworks in the rain in the middle of the day.... some ppl are stranger than me...


I'm talking to Hannah, and she's cool. She's one of my best friends. Consider her more of a sister actually.... we're connected. She *was* my sister. I just dont know when...


I saw Lobo for a few mins earlier.... I love him SO much.... I miss him. He's asleep now. Lives really far away, so its night for him... Time zones really suck.


I havent seen my brother Rebel in a few days... and I'm talking to my friend Aeryn rite now. Dont think much is happening, but I am listening to At The Drive-In


cant think of anything profound to say.... but have been reading LOTS of pagan humour lately..... who needs profoundness when you've got humour?


The exam results'll be out soon, and I'm scared. Real scared.